World of Booty Calls: What They Really Are and How They Work Today
You’ve heard the term. Maybe you’ve even sent one. Or received one. Booty call isn’t just slang-it’s a real part of modern dating, especially in cities like London where life moves fast and emotional bandwidth is thin. But what does it actually look like in 2025? Is it just sex with no strings? Or is there more beneath the surface?
What Is a Booty Call, Really?
A booty call isn’t a date. It’s not a relationship. It’s not even really a hookup in the traditional sense. It’s a text, sometimes a voice note, that says: "You free tonight?"-and both people know exactly what that means. No dinner. No small talk. No future plans. Just physical connection, no expectations attached.
It’s not new. People have been doing this since forever. But today, with dating apps, blurred lines between friendship and sex, and the normalization of casual intimacy, booty calls are more common-and more complicated-than ever.
Think of it like this: you’re not looking for love. You’re not looking for commitment. You’re looking for comfort, release, or just someone to be close to for a few hours. And the other person? They’re looking for the same thing.
Why Do People Use Booty Calls?
Let’s be honest-there’s a reason this keeps happening. It’s not just about sex. It’s about convenience.
- You had a rough day at work and just want to feel touched.
- You’re lonely but don’t want to deal with the emotional labor of a date.
- You’re attracted to someone but know a relationship wouldn’t work.
- You’re in a relationship but your partner isn’t in the mood-and you’re not asking for more than a quick connection.
Some people swear by it. One Londoner, 32, told me: "I’ve had the same booty call for two years. We never talk about feelings. We don’t exchange photos after. But when I’m stressed, she shows up. It’s the most reliable thing in my life."
Others use it as a stepping stone. Maybe they’re testing chemistry before going further. Or maybe they’re avoiding the awkwardness of rejection by keeping things low-stakes.
The truth? Most people who use booty calls aren’t broken. They’re just navigating a world where emotional availability is rare and time is scarcer than ever.
How Booty Calls Are Different from Hookups or Casual Dating
Let’s clear up the confusion.
A hookup is often spontaneous-a kiss at a party, a night out that turns physical. It’s unplanned. A booty call? That’s scheduled. Texted. Agreed upon. It’s a deliberate choice to skip the romance and go straight to the physical.
A casual relationship might involve texting during the day, meeting for coffee, maybe even hanging out with friends. A booty call? No coffee. No texts unless it’s "you free?" And even then, it’s rarely followed by "how was your week?"
Booty calls are transactional in the purest sense: time for touch. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Where Do Booty Calls Happen in London?
You might think they’re all happening in Soho flats or Airbnb rentals. But here’s the thing-they’re everywhere.
- North London: A lot happen between flatmates who used to date but still have chemistry.
- South London: Often between coworkers who keep it strictly after-hours.
- East London: Common among creatives who don’t want to commit but still crave intimacy.
- West London: Sometimes between people in open relationships who need a quick reset.
There’s no single hotspot. It’s not about location. It’s about mutual understanding. You don’t need a bar or a club. You just need a phone, a shared silence, and the unspoken rule: no expectations.
What to Expect During a Booty Call
It’s not a movie. There’s no dramatic music. No candlelit bath. Usually, it’s someone showing up in sweatpants, dropping their bag by the door, and saying, "So…"
Most of the time, it’s quick. 30 minutes to an hour. Sometimes longer if the vibe is right. But it’s not about duration. It’s about clarity.
Here’s what usually happens:
- Text comes in: "You up?"
- Reply: "Yeah."
- They arrive. No flowers. No wine. Maybe a snack if they’re feeling generous.
- Sex happens. Usually straightforward-no foreplay theatrics.
- They leave. No "we should do this again." Just a nod, maybe a "thanks."
That’s it. No emotional fallout. No lingering. No "what are we?"
And that’s exactly why it works-for some people.
Why Booty Calls Can Go Wrong
Here’s the catch: they only work when both people are on the same page.
One person thinks: "This is just sex."
The other person thinks: "Maybe they like me? Maybe this is leading somewhere?"
That mismatch is where things break. And they break fast.
One woman in Brixton told me she started a booty call with a guy she worked with. After three months, she started texting him in the morning. He stopped replying. She thought she’d done something wrong. Turns out-he’d assumed she was just using him. He didn’t want to be "the guy who gets called at 2 a.m."
Another issue? Jealousy. If one person starts dating someone else, it can trigger feelings-even if you never agreed to exclusivity.
And then there’s the guilt. Especially if you’re religious, raised conservative, or just not used to casual sex. You might feel dirty afterward. Or confused. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.
How to Have a Healthy Booty Call
It’s possible to do this without drama. Here’s how:
- Set boundaries before it starts. Say it out loud: "This is just for sex. No texts in the morning. No dates."
- Use a code word. "You free?" is fine. But if you want to avoid awkwardness, use something like "Netflix?" to signal it’s not a date.
- Never mix emotions. Don’t start sharing your fears, your childhood, your dreams. That’s not what this is for.
- Know when to walk away. If you start wanting more-stop. If they start wanting more-say so. Don’t ghost. Just say: "I think this isn’t working for me anymore. Thanks for being honest."
- Protect your health. Always use protection. Even if you’ve done this before. STI rates are rising in London, especially among 25-35-year-olds.
It’s not about being cold. It’s about being clear.
Booty Call vs. Friends with Benefits
People mix these up all the time. Here’s the difference:
| Aspect | Booty Call | Friends with Benefits |
|---|---|---|
| Communication | Only about sex. No small talk. | Texts during the day. Maybe hang out platonically. |
| Frequency | Irregular. Triggered by need. | Regular. Weekly or biweekly. |
| Emotional Involvement | Minimal to none. | Some level of friendship exists. |
| Aftercare | They leave. No follow-up. | May text "good night" or share a meme. |
| Duration | Usually short-term. | Can last months or years. |
Booty calls are transactional. Friends with benefits are relational-even if the relationship is just about sex.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a booty call the same as prostitution?
No. Prostitution involves money exchanged for sex. A booty call is between people who know each other, often socially or professionally. No payment is involved. It’s about mutual desire, not transactional service.
Can you turn a booty call into a relationship?
Sometimes. But it’s rare. Most booty calls work because they’re free of emotional pressure. If one person starts wanting more, it usually ruins the dynamic. If you want a relationship, start one-don’t try to upgrade a booty call.
Are booty calls common in London?
Yes. A 2024 survey by the London Institute of Social Health found that 38% of adults aged 25-35 have had at least one ongoing booty call in the past year. It’s especially common among people who work long hours, live alone, or have high social anxiety.
Is it weird to have a booty call with someone you work with?
It’s not illegal, but it’s risky. If things go wrong, it can create tension at work. If you do it, keep it strictly private. No office talk. No social media tags. And never, ever bring it up in team meetings.
What if I feel guilty after a booty call?
Guilt often comes from old beliefs-not from what you did. If you didn’t hurt anyone, didn’t lie, and both parties consented, then you didn’t do anything wrong. Your body, your choices. If the guilt sticks, talk to someone. A therapist, a friend, even a journal. Don’t shame yourself for wanting connection.
Do people regret booty calls?
Some do. Most don’t. The people who regret it usually didn’t set boundaries. Or they started hoping for more. The ones who don’t regret it? They knew the rules from day one-and stuck to them.
Final Thoughts
Booty calls aren’t the end of romance. They’re not a sign of moral decline. They’re just another way people are trying to connect in a world that doesn’t always make space for intimacy.
They work when they’re honest. They fail when they’re misunderstood.
If you’re considering one-know what you want. Say it out loud. Protect yourself. And don’t let anyone make you feel bad for wanting something simple.
After all, sometimes the most honest relationships are the ones with no labels at all.
connor dalton
December 2, 2025 AT 15:56Interesting breakdown. I’ve had a few booty calls over the years-mostly in college and early 20s. What surprised me was how clean the emotional exit was compared to dating apps where people ghost after one kiss. No drama, no ‘what are we?’ texts. Just silence after. It’s weirdly respectful, in a way. I stopped doing it when I realized I was using it to avoid loneliness, not to enjoy it. Not saying it’s wrong-just that I needed something more real.
Kari Watkins
December 3, 2025 AT 15:24OMG YES 🙌🏻 I’ve been doing this with my ex-boyfriend-turned-office-maybe-something for 14 months and it’s the ONLY thing keeping me sane. We don’t text during the day. We don’t post pics. We don’t even say good morning. But when I’m crying over my tax return? He shows up with a six-pack and zero questions. I love him. But I don’t love *love*. This is my therapy with benefits. 💃🏻🔥
Emily Cross
December 4, 2025 AT 02:01Let’s be real-this is just sex with a side of delusion. People call it ‘honest’ but they’re lying to themselves. If you’re not emotionally available, why not just get a therapist? Or a vibrator? Or join a gym? This whole ‘no strings’ thing is just a euphemism for emotional cowardice. And don’t get me started on ‘code words’ like ‘netflix?’ That’s not clever. That’s pathetic. You’re not being smart-you’re being scared.
Amit krishna Dhawan
December 5, 2025 AT 09:53Bro, this is so true for India too. In Delhi, we have this thing called ‘roomie sex’-two people living in same flat, never dated, never kissed before, but now they just… do it. No names, no photos, no WhatsApp. Just ‘you home?’ and ‘yeah.’ And then silence. No one talks about it. But everyone knows. Even our maids. They just nod. It’s the new normal. No shame. Just survival.
Abhishek Gowda
December 6, 2025 AT 16:19Wait… so you’re telling me I’m not the only one who feels like a monster after? 😭 I had one with my coworker. We did it 3 times. I started dreaming about her. Then I texted her ‘u up?’ and she didn’t reply for 3 days. I cried. I deleted her number. I felt like a piece of trash. But then I realized… I was the one who wanted more. Not her. So I’m sorry. To her. To me. To everyone who thought this was just ‘sex.’ It’s not. It’s a trap. 🤕💔