Guide to Casual Booty Calls: What You Need to Know
You’ve thought about it. Maybe you’ve even done it. A casual booty call isn’t about love, it’s not a date, and it definitely doesn’t come with flowers or dinner reservations. It’s two people who want physical connection without the emotional baggage. Sounds simple, right? But in practice, it’s messier than most people admit.
What Exactly Is a Booty Call?
A booty call is a request for sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with-usually someone you already know. It’s not a one-night stand with a stranger you met at a bar. It’s calling someone you’ve hung out with, flirted with, or maybe even dated briefly, and saying, ‘Hey, you free tonight?’
This isn’t about romance. It’s about convenience, chemistry, and mutual understanding. Both people agree upfront: no expectations, no labels, no future. Just physical intimacy when it’s convenient for both.
It’s become more common in urban settings like London, where people juggle busy jobs, social lives, and personal boundaries. The rise of dating apps didn’t create this-it just made it easier to find people who feel the same way.
Why Do People Do It?
Let’s be honest: sex feels good. But why choose a booty call over a relationship or a stranger?
- Emotional safety - You already know the person. No awkward first-date nerves. You know their vibe, their humor, their boundaries.
- Convenience - No need to plan a date, pick a restaurant, or dress up. You text, they say yes, and you meet up.
- No pressure - No ‘where is this going?’ conversations. No ghosting because you didn’t text back fast enough.
- Sexual compatibility - You’ve already tested the chemistry. No guessing if they’re good in bed.
One Londoner, 31, told me: ‘I’ve had two serious relationships that ended badly. Now I just want to sleep with someone who doesn’t expect me to be their emotional support system. A booty call gives me that freedom without the loneliness.’
How It’s Different from Other Casual Encounters
Not all casual sex is the same.
- One-night stands - You meet someone new, hook up, and never see them again.
- Friends with benefits - You hang out socially outside of sex. There’s a friendship layer.
- Booty calls - You don’t hang out unless you’re hooking up. The connection is purely physical and transactional.
Booty calls are the most detached form of casual sex. There’s no shared coffee, no Sunday morning texts, no ‘how was your week?’ Just a quick ‘you up?’ and a few hours of intimacy.
How to Set It Up Without Making It Weird
The biggest mistake people make? Assuming the other person feels the same way.
Here’s how to do it right:
- Know your person - Don’t call someone you barely know. You need enough history to read their signals.
- Be direct, but not crude - ‘Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. You free tonight?’ works better than ‘Wanna hook up?’
- Read the response - If they hesitate, change the subject. If they say yes with enthusiasm, great. If they say ‘maybe,’ they’re not into it.
- Agree on boundaries - No cuddling? No texts after? No seeing each other outside of this? Say it now.
- Don’t overthink it - If both people are clear, it’s not weird. If one person starts acting differently, it’s time to reset or walk away.
One rule I’ve seen work every time: Don’t call someone after a breakup or when you’re drunk. Those moments are emotional landmines.
What Can Go Wrong
It sounds simple, but emotions don’t always follow logic.
- One person starts wanting more - This is the #1 reason these arrangements fail. One person gets attached. The other doesn’t. It hurts.
- It becomes public - If word gets out at work or in your friend group, it can get awkward fast.
- You start avoiding them - You used to laugh together. Now you text only when you want sex. That changes the dynamic.
- You forget consent - Just because you’ve done it before doesn’t mean it’s automatic. Always check in.
There’s a reason why most booty calls don’t last longer than a few months. Human brains are wired for connection. Even when you think you’re fine with just sex, your emotions might quietly start to creep in.
How to Keep It Healthy
If you’re going to do this, do it right.
- Check in monthly - Ask: ‘Is this still working for you?’ Not in a heavy way. Just casually. ‘Still cool with how this is?’
- Don’t mix it with alcohol or drugs - You need clear heads to make good decisions.
- Use protection - Always. No exceptions. Even if you’ve been tested. STIs don’t care how casual you are.
- Respect their time - Don’t show up unannounced. Don’t stay all night unless they invite you. Don’t act like you own their space.
- Be ready to walk away - If either of you changes your mind, end it cleanly. No guilt trips. No passive-aggressive texts.
Think of it like a gym membership. You go when you want to. You don’t feel bad if you skip a week. And if you stop going, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Booty Calls vs. Friends with Benefits
| Aspect | Booty Call | Friends with Benefits |
|---|---|---|
| Frequency | Occasional, triggered by desire | Regular, often weekly |
| Social Interaction | Minimal - only when hooking up | Regular - hang out, text, go out |
| Emotional Involvement | Low - kept strictly physical | Moderate - friendship layer exists |
| Communication | Text-based, direct | More varied - calls, DMs, in person |
| Duration | Usually short-term (weeks to months) | Can last years |
| Best For | People who want zero emotional entanglement | People who enjoy company but don’t want romance |
Frequently Asked Questions
Are booty calls legal in the UK?
Yes, as long as it’s between consenting adults and no money is exchanged. Paying for sex is illegal in the UK under the Sexual Offences Act 2003. But if both people are giving and receiving pleasure without payment, it’s completely legal.
Can you have a booty call with someone you work with?
Technically, yes - but it’s risky. If things go wrong, it can create a hostile work environment. If one person gets promoted or if there’s a power imbalance, it could lead to accusations of harassment. Most HR departments advise against it. Keep it separate from work.
What if I start developing feelings?
It happens. A lot. If you feel yourself wanting more - texts outside of sex, planning to see them on non-sex days, feeling jealous - it’s time to have a talk. You can either shift to a different kind of relationship… or end it. Pretending it’s still casual when you’re not will hurt both of you.
How do I know if they’re still into it?
Look at patterns. Do they initiate? Do they respond quickly? Do they seem excited? If they start delaying replies, canceling, or giving vague answers, they’re probably losing interest. Don’t overanalyze - just notice the shift. And if you’re unsure, ask directly: ‘Hey, is this still something you want?’
Is it okay to have multiple booty calls?
It’s not uncommon. But be honest. If you’re seeing more than one person, tell them. Most people who do this expect it. If you hide it, you’re not just risking their feelings - you’re risking your reputation. Transparency isn’t just ethical - it’s practical.
Final Thoughts
Booty calls aren’t the answer to loneliness. They’re not a replacement for real connection. But for some people, at some points in their lives, they’re the right tool for the job.
If you’re doing it for the right reasons - freedom, convenience, mutual respect - and you’re willing to walk away when it stops feeling good, then it’s not wrong. It’s just human.
Just don’t confuse it with love. Don’t let it become your only way of feeling close to someone. And above all - always, always respect boundaries. Yours and theirs.
